Help! I Hate My... Boss

I work as an assistant at a small art gallery, where I am one of only two employees. Recently my boss, who owns the gallery, and is 20 years older than me, arrived at work late in the afternoon after lunch with a client and sat down at his computer, asking me to “not turn around” from my own desk (we sit with our backs to each other, across a small office space). I believe he was watching porn, as I’ve seen images on the shared server, which he clearly doesn’t realise everyone can access. I emailed a friend about it from my work account, and deleted the email. Later, he sent me a text message saying he did not appreciate finding ‘snickering’ emails on his computer, on his time. What should I do? I don’t have anyone to report it to, as we don’t have any HR here. I can’t afford to quit without another job lined up, either.  

Believe it or not, about two decades ago I found myself in this very situation. The very gall of this man makes me absolutely livid. If I were you, I would text him right back and say, “I apologise if you felt it was unkind, however, I would prefer it if you do not watch your porn in my presence, as it is, after all, a violation of my rights.”

There are several different and very serious problems here. The porn is actually only one of them. First, we must separate what you know from what you suspect happened – you have seen sexual images on the shared server, which is already a gross violation of workplace conduct. You have a valid discrimination case here against the gallery. Regardless of whether anyone intended to stumble across it, sexual material is being stored somewhere employees can access and view it. 

You believe he was watching porn that afternoon, based on this previous material. The instruction to not turn around is very telling, and I am sure only confirmed your own suspicions. While he is entitled to privacy at his computer, it’s hardly a normal professional arrangement to ask an employee not to move. You should never feel responsible for protecting him from the consequences of his behaviour. 

There’s only one part in this where I would advise you to be cautious on your actions – the email to your friend. Using a work account to discuss your boss, even if you deleted the message, wasn’t wise. You should assume anything sent from a work account or computer will not remain private – his text to you was undoubtedly defensive, but it’s also a warning that he’s monitoring you and he’s aware that you’ve been discussing him. Keep your own communications from here on strictly professional – and don’t try to access his files in a tit for tat. Keep any concerning messages somewhere private and secure if you need to for evidence later.

You’ve pointed to another very difficult and endemic issue in the artworld: the lack of an HR person or department. This leaves you with few obvious avenues for raising a complaint – but it doesn’t mean you have no one to turn to or that you should give up. Is there another owner, or are there trustees, board members or directors you can refer to? If there is really no one independent of your boss, which I suspect may be the case, you should consider getting employment advice on the course to take to make a formal complaint, if that’s what you want to do. 

What to do in the meantime? I can understand you feel trapped in a horrible situation that is extremely uncomfortable. I can imagine you also feel unsafe going into work. If you do need to address the issue in the interim with your boss, focus it on workplace conduct. Definitely, definitely start looking (quietly) for another job. The terrible reality is that he’s not going to get better, and he owns the gallery. He’s significantly older and I am guessing has more experience than you, and he knows that you have this information about him. There is an imbalance of power that favours him. You also can’t afford to leave immediately – so make a sensible exit plan as soon as possible instead. Keep your head held high, maintain your professional boundaries – even if those are alien to this guy.